A slightly different angle for me. I’ve described it as gentle.
The Old Ways
“What do you think Carol?”
“You look great, a little old-fashioned perhaps, but the barber did a fine job. Did you go to a different place? Usually you look a little like that sheep we tried to shear a few years back.”
“That’s not fair, I’ve never looked that bad, still I’m glad we have Matt the Shearer these days. But no, it was the usual place, but it was a new person. Though it was a little odd.”
“Odd, how? Cup of tea?”
“A cuppa would be lovely. Difficult to put my finger on. Well for one thing, I’m not sure if it was a man or a woman.”
“Don’t be silly Gerald, you must have been able to tell.”
“No, really. He, I’ll call him he, had a scarf over his face, and gloves. It was cold in there and he apologised, apparently the heating conked out this morning. He had a long coat on, and I think he was wearing a wig.”
“That does sound a bit strange.”
“Hmm, no, there was more to it. He didn’t use the clippers at all, just scissors, and the cut-throat razor. I can’t remember the last time I had a hair cut without clippers, and none of the barbers use the cut-throat any more. I think they keep them these days just there for show.”
“Traditionalist then.”
“Yes, but he did a very good job.”
“He definitely did. How much did he charge?”
“Well that’s the other strange thing. His voice was soft, almost a whisper, and he asked for thruppence. I thought he was being funny, and gave him a tenner. He looked at it bemusedly and then it was if a lightbulb had lit up, and he thanked me effusively. He said as I left, ‘The old ways are best sir.’”
“Sounds like he was just having fun with you!”
“Perhaps.”
#
“Carol…”
“Gerald, you look pleased with yourself love. Come, sit down. Would you like a cup of tea?”
“Please.”
“I’ll just pour you a cup and you can tell me why you’re so happy.”
“Well, my hair was getting a bit long again. A couple of months’ growth, and I went back to my barbers.”
“He’s done you proud again I must say. Here you are love, a nice strong cuppa. Go on…”
“It was looking pretty deserted, but then that new fellow was there again. At least, I think he is a fellow. Same getup as last time. Still problems with the heating he said. I asked why they hadn’t just bought one of those cheap electric things, and he sort of grunted.”
“Maybe they don’t have the cash? It’s tight for everyone these days.”
“You don’t know how right you are…. I sat down, and he went to work on my hair. Like last time there was little conversation, and he used just scissors and a cut throat. When he was finished he asked me for thruppence again.”
“Not one to spot when a joke gets old is he.”
“Well, I’m not sure. I gave him a tenner as before, and he accepted it. I left happy enough with my cut and went to the butchers next door. I was in the mood for steak.”
“Ooh that sounds lovely? Is that’s what is in the bag?”
“Yes. Anyway, I was in the butchers, and it wasn’t the normal guy, you know Frank?”
“The chatty talkative one? I like him. Though I thought he’d moved away a while ago…”
“Well either way he wasn’t there. Instead it was another bloke in a long coat, gloves and scarf. Just like the barber. Could have been brothers. Well none of the cuts were laid out, instead there were carcasses hanging, and he said, ‘What’ll it be?’ Well, I said I wanted steak, he asked a couple more questions and then got a haunch of meat down.”
“Don’t gulp your tea Gerald, you know how sensitive your digestion is.”
“Sorry dear. Could I have another cup?”
“Of course. Sounds old fashioned too.”
“Oh yes. He measured it and quick as a flash I had two fine steaks. He didn’t bother weighing them, just looked at them and said, ‘Sixpence for you sir’.”
“How odd, perhaps he and the barber have the same joke?”
“It did bother me, but I just handed him a twenty. He looked at it, and like the barber, was blank at first before being very happy with it. He handed over my package, wrapped in paper, just like they used to, and nodded at me as I left.”
“Mmm. Gerald, which butchers was it again?”
“Ah, well I think it’s still called Frank’s.”
“Next to old Dudley’s hair dressers?”
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“Where did you really go Gerald? Is it her again?”
“What? What are you talking about, I told you I went to the barbers, just like last month.”
“Gerald Tomkins, you should know, and would if you’d actually visited them, that the whole row of shops containing Frank’s and Dudley’s has been condemned, and they’ve been shut for months now. So come on, where did you really go?”
“What… wait, here’s the steak, let me show you!”
“Dear lord Gerald, what is that stench?”
“It’s the steak…”
“Get it out of here right now. And you too. Come back when you’re prepared to tell me the truth.”
“Carol, don’t cry…”
Gerald stumbled out shocked and confused. He went back to the barber, but this time it looked abandoned. He was about to leave when he saw a shape in the window. He moved closer to see who it was, maybe it was the barber and then he could make some sense of it all. However when he got to the doorway there was no one there. He looked around a bit before giving up.
As he left, wondering what he was going to say to Carol, he heard a whisper saying, ‘The old ways are best…’